Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Body Voice

This is the voice of my body. Well, the back end anyway. Sometimes it has a lot to say. Sometimes it can’t say a thing. It gets all backed up and stuffed up. Sometimes it speaks a bunch of green mess. Other times it runs off at the mouth with brown mush. Sometimes the only thing to get it to behave is that pink chalky stuff they advertise on TV.
Yeah this is the voice of my body when it can’t act right. Sometimes it chooses the most inopportune time to yack. On a date in the car when the windows are sealed shut. What about the time it decided to make these repeated small coughs in the middle of a torrid lovemaking session. Yeah, that back end body part so loves to embarrass. Have you ever noticed that the word embarrassed actually as the word "Ass" in it? That unholy back way blabber mouth that just loves to let loose a whole gaggle of mouthiness when I least expect or desire it.
But what can you do? The voice of your body chooses where and what to say. I mean the thighs. They rub and make that annoying swish noise. The titties do the whole gaggle slap noise if you run a little to hard or quickly. The knees do the crick crack sound when they protest sitting or standing or running or doing anything too long. The back joins in with the knees and or the titties depending on the exertion.
Shoot! Even the armpits get in on the action when you least expect it. That whole fart noise they do to imitate the back end whistler. The voice of my body is a one woman band played out of tune and out of rhythm. Toot! Toot! Poot! Poot. Rat-a-tat-tat on the ole flabby body drum.


  1. LOL!! That's a very funny way to look at things!! I know I'll be thinking about it while I'm at the gym sweating away listening to my creaky knees. Thank goodness the music is up good and loud so there are no other little sounds popping up around the gym!! LOL

    You have an award waiting for you at my blog!!! Enjoy!!! :D

  2. LOL I've definitely got the swish of the thighs and the crick crack of the knees going.

  3. LOL
    Sometimes things just strike me funny. The way a phrase comes out or a twist on some random expression. I can't help it! LOL it just cracks me up! I'm glad you both liked it! So funny! I reread it and was cracked my own self up!

    Thanks for the Award Sunflower!!!!!